Help me....

I don't know if I should really be posting this, but I really don't feel good at all right now, just a few minutes ago, my mom came in and started yelling at me to keep the noise down, I thought she didn't like me for some time now, but then she hit me, hard in the face, now I know this has happened to lots of kids, but you don't know my mom, she's the nicest person you could ever meet, she's mild tempered, doesn't get angry easily, and she punched me in the face, I realise now, I think she does hate me....

I looked at my bottle of sleeping pills, I'm an insomniac and have to take them to sleep, and poured all the contents into the palm of my hand, you see, if you OD on sleeping pills, you just go to sleep and never wake up. I just stood there looking at it, thinking "all it would take is one swallow, then crawl into bed, and drift off into sleep. I don't know if Heaven really exists, but I don't care. I'm shizophrenic, I suffer from depression, I'm doing horrible in school, I get constant headaches, My parents yell at me every night to get stuff done, the kids in school harass me (maybe not as bad as some kids but still), I know this sounds really selfish, and I know suicide is a selfish thing to do, but I can't stand this world, I wish I could make it all go away.

I don't cry much, in fact I never cry, but looking at those pills, thinking of leaving it all behind, I couldn't help it, I don't want to die, but no one would probably care if I did anyways, no one at school has really shown that they cared at all. I really think the world hates me, I've never been successful, happy, and I've never been in love, or at least if I have, that person thinks I'm a creep and stays away from me, why? I'm not bipolar, I just want the pain to stop, physical, mental, and emotional, I hate myself, and so does everyone else apparently.

I'm not okay, I may say I'm okay in school, but I'm not...

I want help so badly, but my parents don't understand, they always tell me to stop acting childish, that's why I drink, I just want it to go away, I need help...

Punk13405 wrote:

I just stood there looking at it, thinking "all it would take is one swallow, then crawl into bed, and drift off into sleep.

DO IT

blood wrote:

Punk13405 wrote:

I just stood there looking at it, thinking "all it would take is one swallow, then crawl into bed, and drift off into sleep.

DO IT

Blood, this is not a joke, I really do feel like doing it, maybe your 12 year old mind cannot grasp the concept of death, when you die, your never coming back, gone forever, never to return to this earthly place....

Punk13405 wrote:

blood wrote:

Punk13405 wrote:

I just stood there looking at it, thinking "all it would take is one swallow, then crawl into bed, and drift off into sleep.

DO IT

Blood, this is not a joke, I really do feel like doing it, maybe your 12 year old mind cannot grasp the concept of death, when you die, your never coming back, gone forever, never to return to this earthly place....

Well you won't go to hell.

Punk13405 wrote:

blood wrote:

Punk13405 wrote:

I just stood there looking at it, thinking "all it would take is one swallow, then crawl into bed, and drift off into sleep.

DO IT

Blood, this is not a joke, I really do feel like doing it, maybe your 12 year old mind cannot grasp the concept of death, when you die, your never coming back, gone forever, never to return to this earthly place....

ive expirienced it with my hamster

blood wrote:

Punk13405 wrote:

blood wrote:

Punk13405 wrote:

I just stood there looking at it, thinking "all it would take is one swallow, then crawl into bed, and drift off into sleep.

DO IT

Blood, this is not a joke, I really do feel like doing it, maybe your 12 year old mind cannot grasp the concept of death, when you die, your never coming back, gone forever, never to return to this earthly place....

ive expirienced it with my hamster

That doesn't compare to humans...

Punk13405 wrote:

blood wrote:

Punk13405 wrote:

blood wrote:

Punk13405 wrote:

I just stood there looking at it, thinking "all it would take is one swallow, then crawl into bed, and drift off into sleep.

DO IT

Blood, this is not a joke, I really do feel like doing it, maybe your 12 year old mind cannot grasp the concept of death, when you die, your never coming back, gone forever, never to return to this earthly place....

ive expirienced it with my hamster

That doesn't compare to humans...

dude what do you expect from us?

huh, i thought of killing myself when i was about seven, because there were horrible things that happened to me that i don't say out loud, plus all those things you mention punk happened to me too, accept the kids at my school were beating me up til i was black and blue, that all happened for many years, til i snapped, my anger over shadowed my sadness, this almost killed me inside, i felt no remorse when i almost killed someone, and my feelings for ending it all was more apparent, but through hope and help by talking out my feelings to people who would listen, saved me, now i'm not saying it wil work for you, but try your best to make something out of this, try better at school, get a job, and start picking yourself up cause in the end the only person you can rely on is you, and i'm not saying that life will get better, i would be lying, there will be hard times, but you must think that your whole life is ahead of you, you seem like a nice guy and i would hate it if one good person like you goes because of you can't control the things that cannot be controlled at all, and if you have a therapist go, if not try to find one, if not that then talk to people who were in your shoes who got passed all this. well i hope this helps you in some way.

hot bullet slug wrote:

huh, i thought of killing myself when i was about seven, because there were horrible things that happened to me that i don't say out loud, plus all those things you mention punk happened to me too, accept the kids at my school were beating me up til i was black and blue, that all happened for many years, til i snapped, my anger over shadowed my sadness, this almost killed me inside, i felt no remorse when i almost killed someone, and my feelings for ending it all was more apparent, but through hope and help by talking out my feelings to people who would listen, saved me, now i'm not saying it wil work for you, but try your best to make something out of this, try better at school, get a job, and start picking yourself up cause in the end the only person you can rely on is you, and i'm not saying that life will get better, i would be lying, there will be hard times, but you must think that your whole life is ahead of you, you seem like a nice guy and i would hate it if one good person like you goes because of you can't control the things that cannot be controlled at all, and if you have a therapist go, if not try to find one, if not that then talk to people who were in your shoes who got passed all this. well i hope this helps you in some way.

*gives you a cookie and a hug*

TheLivingReciever wrote:

hot bullet slug wrote:

huh, i thought of killing myself when i was about seven, because there were horrible things that happened to me that i don't say out loud, plus all those things you mention punk happened to me too, accept the kids at my school were beating me up til i was black and blue, that all happened for many years, til i snapped, my anger over shadowed my sadness, this almost killed me inside, i felt no remorse when i almost killed someone, and my feelings for ending it all was more apparent, but through hope and help by talking out my feelings to people who would listen, saved me, now i'm not saying it wil work for you, but try your best to make something out of this, try better at school, get a job, and start picking yourself up cause in the end the only person you can rely on is you, and i'm not saying that life will get better, i would be lying, there will be hard times, but you must think that your whole life is ahead of you, you seem like a nice guy and i would hate it if one good person like you goes because of you can't control the things that cannot be controlled at all, and if you have a therapist go, if not try to find one, if not that then talk to people who were in your shoes who got passed all this. well i hope this helps you in some way.

*gives you a cookie and a hug*

I hope you mean that in a good way, cause i'm very, very serious about this topic, plus your ass better give me a cookie and a hug when you come over this weekend, or so help me Rec, i'll won't get you your fav drink on halloween...a screw driver on the rocks.

hot bullet slug wrote:

TheLivingReciever wrote:

hot bullet slug wrote:

huh, i thought of killing myself when i was about seven, because there were horrible things that happened to me that i don't say out loud, plus all those things you mention punk happened to me too, accept the kids at my school were beating me up til i was black and blue, that all happened for many years, til i snapped, my anger over shadowed my sadness, this almost killed me inside, i felt no remorse when i almost killed someone, and my feelings for ending it all was more apparent, but through hope and help by talking out my feelings to people who would listen, saved me, now i'm not saying it wil work for you, but try your best to make something out of this, try better at school, get a job, and start picking yourself up cause in the end the only person you can rely on is you, and i'm not saying that life will get better, i would be lying, there will be hard times, but you must think that your whole life is ahead of you, you seem like a nice guy and i would hate it if one good person like you goes because of you can't control the things that cannot be controlled at all, and if you have a therapist go, if not try to find one, if not that then talk to people who were in your shoes who got passed all this. well i hope this helps you in some way.

*gives you a cookie and a hug*

I hope you mean that in a good way, cause i'm very, very serious about this topic, plus your ass better give me a cookie and a hug when you come over this weekend, or so help me Rec, i'll won't get you your fav drink on halloween...a screw driver on the rocks.

*runs outside to the grocery store and starts hordeing cookies, the runs outside and punchs a small helpless child and steals thier cookies*

this isn't going to be enough...

*starts running to the playground.... *


Of course i mean it in a good way....

@ Punk

sorry for being a dick, i was in a really bad mood then...

punk please dont do it!! i care! I CARE!!!!! why dont you move out? go to a hostal or something...my mate did it, she now lives with 6 other teens and shes happy and healthier than iv seen since the problems started at home
please, dont do it! iv felt the same way before but if i can have the will to go on, then im sure you can.
we are all your freinds here and we care about you, we may be miles away but we're still here for you when you need a metephorical shoulder to cry on

dark raven wrote:

punk please dont do it!! i care! I CARE!!!!! why dont you move out? go to a hostal or something...my mate did it, she now lives with 6 other teens and shes happy and healthier than iv seen since the problems started at home
please, dont do it! iv felt the same way before but if i can have the will to go on, then im sure you can.
we are all your freinds here and we care about you, we may be miles away but we're still here for you when you need a metephorical shoulder to cry on

*hugs* your a saint^^

Please don't kill yourself. I care.

that sux. but ask yourself this, "what if tomorrow turned out to be the best day of my life. if i do this now, i won't get to see it." lame perhaps. but a possibility. i sit in my lounge with a bottle of pills next to me all the time. i attempted four times last month and once this month. i'm still here. the worst part is when good stuff happens the next morning. makes you feel sick and guilty inside, course that don't help at all. but still. maybe this don't make a difference anymore, maybe you have already changed your mind, certainly hope you have. but if you ever get those feelings again. just ask that one question. and know that even if half the world seems to hate you, it's the other half that don't, who'll miss you.

Punk, I'm Not Being A Dick, But Honestly, If You Kill Youreself, There's No Heaven, Hell OR Purgatory, Suicide Is An Unforgivable Sin In The Eyes Of God. Just To Let You Know. Now For Some Help. I Care Like You Wouldn't Believe, If There Was A Kid Who Beat Me Up Everyday, And Made Fun Of Me Everyday. The Secodn He Felt Shitty, I Would Help Him Out. So, If You Ever Need To Talk. Just PM Me, Here Or OMB. Ok?

[quote="DnimdetsiwT"]If You Kill Youreself, There's No Heaven, Hell OR Purgatory, Suicide Is An Unforgivable Sin In The Eyes Of God. [quote]

um your confusing me. You just said theres no heaven or hell or purgatory then said that suicide is an unforgivable sin in gods eyes, which would mean he would go to hell. So Why are you mentioning "sins" and "god" you don't believe in heaven or hell?

Signed,

Confused

Because I Wasn't Sure If He Did, Because He Mentioned That He Wasn't Sure If Heaven Was Real. I Worded My Last Post Wrong, What I Meant Was: I Don't Believe In Heaven, Hell Or Purgatory, But if You Do, Just Be Sure You Know That Suicide Is An Unforgivable Sin In The Eyes Of God.


There, Better? =]

DnimdetsiwT wrote:

Because I Wasn't Sure If He Did, Because He Mentioned That He Wasn't Sure If Heaven Was Real. I Worded My Last Post Wrong, What I Meant Was: I Don't Believe In Heaven, Hell Or Purgatory, But if You Do, Just Be Sure You Know That Suicide Is An Unforgivable Sin In The Eyes Of God.


There, Better? =]

sorry i was just confused.

TheLivingReciever wrote:

DnimdetsiwT wrote:

Because I Wasn't Sure If He Did, Because He Mentioned That He Wasn't Sure If Heaven Was Real. I Worded My Last Post Wrong, What I Meant Was: I Don't Believe In Heaven, Hell Or Purgatory, But if You Do, Just Be Sure You Know That Suicide Is An Unforgivable Sin In The Eyes Of God.


There, Better? =]

sorry i was just confused.

Don't Be Sorry, I Was Accually Straightening That Out For You, No Sarcasm Anywhere.

lucifers ghost wrote:

that sux. but ask yourself this, "what if tomorrow turned out to be the best day of my life. if i do this now, i won't get to see it." lame perhaps. but a possibility. i sit in my lounge with a bottle of pills next to me all the time. i attempted four times last month and once this month. i'm still here. the worst part is when good stuff happens the next morning. makes you feel sick and guilty inside, course that don't help at all. but still. maybe this don't make a difference anymore, maybe you have already changed your mind, certainly hope you have. but if you ever get those feelings again. just ask that one question. and know that even if half the world seems to hate you, it's the other half that don't, who'll miss you.

SPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O.O YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

hi. yes i made it. glad to see you're happy

XD

You know what? The things that have happened to you people over these few weeks have made me see just how heartless you guys really are, now I really do feel like killing myself, because your all just like everyone else I know, I don't know a single person who really might even slightly care besides Chelsea and Raven, so goodbye everyone, I'm outta this world, see ya.